Getting in a relationship with someone who has had more partners than you might be a challenge for some. But does body count really matter?
It is true that most people have been in relationships with people that have had more sexual partners than they have, but that doesn’t give you the right to judge them. It comes down to the fact that we all have different standards of what we find acceptable and unacceptable.
When you start dating someone new, it can be all too easy to do a mental count of their sexual partners and compare that number to your own. It’s inevitable: you’ll ask yourself questions like “Who was he/she with before me?” and “Was this person more experienced than I am?” It’s an instinctive thing for people to do—we’re inquisitive about our relationships, and we like to get an idea of how things stack up and how we measure up. But we’ve decided that body count doesn’t matter: the number of times we’ve been intimate with someone else is irrelevant in the long term unless it’s correlated with other problems in the relationship.
In fact, sometimes having more experience can actually be a good thing. If your partner has had multiple partners in the past, it means they’re comfortable communicating their needs and wants and that they understand sexual health really well. An experienced partner can also help you feel more comfortable and open about sexual exploration. As long as those past experiences are positive and healthy, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t learn from them. And besides, if you were with a virgin when you started dating them, would you want them to suddenly be less inexperienced than you? We don’t think so!
What could make things awkward?
We all have our social circles, and in the center of each one is a web of relationships, history, and memories. You may have gone to school with one of your friend’s exes, or have hung out with friends that your new partner has dated.
You may find yourself feeling jealous and uncomfortable, and this can damage the relationship. If you do decide to date someone who has dated many of your friends and acquaintances, it is good to know that this can be a problem in the future. It is also important to know what you will do if a problem comes up in your relationship.
Make sure to stay safe
Before you start dating someone with a high body count or have heard that they have had many sexual partners, you need to realize that this is a very real situation. You need to be honest with your partner and ask him or her if they are clean, and make sure they use protection. Not only is this for your own safety, but your partner’s as well. It can be difficult to take care of yourself all the time in these situations, so it’s important to talk about it. Make sure you are comfortable with what you are doing and that you don’t feel pressured at all to do something that doesn’t feel right. A relationship is about trust, communication, and honesty.
DON’T MISS: >>Is it possible to stay friends with your ex?<<